The Romani don't do goodbyes

Even though they know a thousand separations

Anton and his younger brother, Lyubcho, walking away | Picture by Martina Petkova

If you visit a Romani home, there’s a risk you entangle yourself in a cultural limbo that keeps you from leaving. Not because anyone’s holding you back. But because the Romani don’t care or know much about the unspoken song and dance most of us do when we want to leave an event or a place. Indirect signals will not land where you want them to land. If you mention you’re running late for something, they’ll wonder why you’re not going, but they won’t urge you to go. If you mention you’re feeling unwell, they’ll insist you lie down, they’ll give you food, water, coffee, and an aspirin. But the thought of telling you “you should go home” will not only never cross their mind, they would consider it a rude and unhospitable sentiment. If you mention you have the blues or are just feeling low, they’ll empathize, ask you to share more about your sorrows if you wish, they’ll pour you a vodka and play music for you,…