The Roma funeral tradition of putting a doll in the coffin

And what happens if the dead feel lonely.

The Romani don’t take death lightly. “Well, does anyone?” you might ask. Compared to the Romani, yes: most of us do.

Sometimes driven by curiosity, sometimes by love for the occult and mysticism, sometimes by grief, we try to breach the impenetrable wall between the living and the dead. We play with Ouija boards, we talk with psychics, we soak up books and movies about the paranormal.

The Romani, ironically known as great mystics and fortunetellers, do not knock on that gate.

And their innumerable and intricate funeral customs accomplish several very important tasks. They channel and embrace the grief. They prepare a loving and respectful voyage of the deceased to the other side. And they make sure he or she does not turn back.

When Rita’s son died

Martina had been trying to help Rita get her 22-year-old son into a hospital. He had advanced AIDS and was dying of an infection. We knew he had very little time left. But he was in severe pain and no hospital wanted to help him.

This was an int…